Due to the unseasonably nice weather in Michigan this week, I was able to observe an adult and child in a park. My observation account was as follows:
A little girl and her mother are meeting some friends in the park to play. The little girl has just gotten a new ball and is happily playing with it by herself. The mother’s friend’s little boy also wants to play with the ball. As the little girl was playing, the boy tries to take it away from her. The boys mom grabs him and tells him “No”. he instantly begins pouting and crying. She then tells her son that he must ask first to play with the ball. By this time, the boy wants nothing to do with the little girl or the ball. He then asks to go play on the slide. The little girl continues to play with the ball. The mom complies with her son and they go over to the slide to play
The main thing that I noticed and learned was that the mother’s tone of voice, word choices, and physical actions created an immediate reaction from her son. Simply, because she communicated to her son in a negative manner, he responded in a negative manner. When the mother communicated to her son in a positive manner, he responded in a positive manner.
Based on the leanings form this week and last, it is believed that the mother could have done some things differently to create a different reaction in her son when communicating with the ball. One thing the mother could have done differently is to lightly tap her son on the shoulder to get his attention instead of grabbing him. Instead of immediately telling him “No”, the mother could have started with “Timmy, I know you want to play with the ball, but you have to ask Missy to play with in instead of taking it”. This would be a more positive approach and the opportunity to turn the situation into a teaching moment about manners and respect.
Overall, I believe that the interactions that I observed had a negative impact on both children and their feelings. The girl may have had her feelings hurt because the boy no longer wanted anything to do with her because of his reactions. The boy would have had his feelings hurt because he was not able to engage and play with his friend. In turn, this could have compromised both children’s self-worth in the short-term and long-term.
By no means does this interaction compare to how I interact with children. I always ensure that I interact with children in a positive manner with care and thoughtfulness. One of the biggest things that I have learned is that many parents now-a-days may not have the same knowledge and skills that I possess when interacting with their children. This needs to change within our society to ensure the healthy growth and development of the next generation of children.
I agree that this mother did not handle this situation effectively. One problem with some parents today is it seems they are used to being short, negative, and frustrated by their children. I wish that all parents would take the time to help children resolve their frustration. This mother could have helped the children begin playing together with the ball. Both children would have been happy and neither would have felt left. A few minutes of talking and helping the children would have change the outcome of the entire day of fun at the park.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tabitha. It looks like your observation at the park was also interesting :0).
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