One example that I witnessed of a child being silenced for pointing out a difference was when I was visiting with a friend while he was rehearsing for a play in his theatre group. Because it was a dress rehearsal, he was wearing stage make-up. As we were talking outside the theatre on his break, a child and her mother walked by. As they passed, I heard the child say, “Mommy, that man is wearing make-up like girls do”. The Mom said “shhhhhh”, grabbed the child by the arm and hurried her along.
Several messages were sent to the child because of the mom’s reaction. The first message was that she was embarrassed by the child’s comments. The second message was that it is not socially acceptable for men to wear make-up even if they are actors. The final message that was sent was that it was wrong for the child to observe or speak up about these differences.
An anti-bias educator would have acted different in this situation. Instead of “Shhhhh”ing the child, he or she would have explained that he was wearing stage make-up because he was in a play and that without the make-up, you would not be able to see him well on the stage. This individual may have also explained to the child that make-up just isn’t for girls, nor are beauty products. In fact, many men do use beauty products and certain types of make-up for personal and professional reasons…and doing this is ok.
Mary,
ReplyDeleteWow, you chose an interested way to help a child understand that sometimes it is okay for a man to wear make up or use beauty products. Therefore, the child would have known that in certain situations makeup is not just for girls, and in the store beauty products are made for both women and men.
Thanks Talae :0).
ReplyDeleteI loved your anti-bias response to the child. I am sure this child would walk away with understanding of my males may choose to wear make-up. The mother in this situation reacted the way many people do. They are caught off guard and not sure how to react. It is nice to think about how to handle these situations in an anti-bias way.
ReplyDeleteMary,
ReplyDeleteI agree that an explanation would have helped the child in this situation understand why this man has on makeup, and that there are times when men do wear makeup for different reasons. Sometimes as a parent we are not prepared when our children speak out and challenge social expectations. I am guilty of embarrassment as well when my child has done this. But what I do try to do is offer further explanation when my nerves have calmed and I can think more clearly.